As one of 600 million people living with a disability, I am often asked, “what is it like?”
I find it difficult to answer this question, as to me, that’s no different from asking “what’s it like to have freckles?” or “what’s it like to be tall?” To me, being disabled is definitely part of my identity, but it certainly does not define who I am and what I do. To me, using a wheelchair is the most convenient way of getting around, just as walking is to most people – nothing more, nothing less. To me, my disability is simply one of many characteristics that make me unique – just as everyone else has features that make them different from everyone else.
I won’t lie or sugar coat things. I haven’t always felt this content that having a disability is simply part of who I am. Growing up, there were many times where I felt down because I was different from my peers or upset because I couldn’t do everything others could do, but I think that everyone has challenges in becoming comfortable in their own skin and being happy with who they are, and I’ll admit, some days I still struggle with it, because things aren’t easy. Simple everyday things like getting to and from university or cooking a meal for myself or planning a weekend away with friends can take a lot of planning and sometimes I wish that I didn’t always have to plan ahead, that I didn’t have to inquire whether places are wheelchair accessible before visiting them, or that I didn’t have to make sure that I have help readily available when I need it. On the other hand, I think having to do those things on a daily basis means I have developed great problem-solving that I can use in other contexts and situations when need be.
Take when I went to India for Kaleidoscope for example. Every step of the way, from getting to the airport to getting on the plane, to getting to the toilet on the plane, to transferring between flights, to getting my luggage once we landed in Delhi, to getting to the hotel, to being able to use the shower at the hotel, to being able to get around the hotel, all required me to use some sort of problem-solving skills to ensure I could do everything as independently as possible, while not being afraid to utilise the help I had around me. Learning to ask for help is something else I have had to learn, and though it can be daunting and sometimes embarrassing, it is important to know one’s limits and not be afraid to ask for help if it is needed.
Living a fulfilled and busy life undefined by my disability does not make me a hero. Disability is not something one overcomes, it is simply something one lives with and experiences, and everyone disabled or not has limitations. Furthermore, disability is not an exclusive thing. Every single person can become disabled in some way at any point of their lives and therefore I think it is important for the world to be 100% accessible for everyone, so that everyone – disabled or not – can live to their fullest potential.   �
I guess the main thing I want people to know is that I and everyone who identifies as disabled are so much more than that label. I am a New Zealander. I am a female. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I am a university student. I am an advocate. I am all those things before I am a disabled person.
I have many of the same desires as other people. I want to be a change-maker. I want to be a lawyer. I want to travel the world. I want to be successful and happy. Perhaps most of all, like every other person, I want to be respected in who I am, in what I do and in the way I choose to live my life.
So, what is it like? Being disabled is like every other experience as a human being in this world – sometimes it’s challenging, sometimes rewarding, sometimes frustrating, sometimes amusing, sometimes depressing, sometimes liberating – and forever changing.
We all have unique experiences in our lives that help to shape who we are and what we do. Living with a disability is one of mine.